The day started off great. The kids were both in a good mood and so was i. We got on the web cam with my mom and things were going fine. Aedin was starting to get tired and fussy and i was a lil on the short temper side. I had to keep stoping and taking a deep breath. Alana was all in my face but i know she just wanted to play. Poor Alana hasn't been getting very much attention lately and it's tearing me up inside.
Ryan calls and says we have an appointment to go to in 3 hours. My initial reaction was "UGH!" I was already having a hard time with the kids and now i'm gonna have to find time to get the kids and myself ready. By this time it was eleven and i hadn't yet found time to eat. I threw something together for Alana and then went to put myself together. Thank God, Aedin had fallen asleep so i could get ready. Twelve thirty rolls around and I put Aedin in his car seat, diaper bag and Alana are ready to go... but no Ryan. I thought maybe he got held up at work so i waited. It was almost one so i called Ryan at work.... the appointments not till one thirty... i was a lil irritated and mad. I rushed to be ready by noon. Why didn't he tell me the right time... did he not trust that i would be ready on time?!
The appointment was an irritating and frustrating topic in it self, for me at least. Passports, ugh, after Ryan insisted on getting passports off base when we didn't need to. I tried to tell him but he wouldn't listen to me... after all what do i know... he read the paper work, not me. Then to get there and find out that it will be $422 times three!!! Thank God, Alana had to potty cause i needed to get out of there. While i was gone Ryan explained to the lady about our other passports and she explained to him how to get it on our GTC. So, Hopefully he does all the the way she said and we don't have to pay for anything.
On top of all this frustration Ryan was being weird. He kept leaving me alone with the kids to go out side by him self or in the garage... After the kinda day i had he wasn't even gonna help me with the kids. All i wanted to do was have him put his arm around me and take some of the stress of the kids from me but instead i got ignored. I wanted to go cry in his arms but i couldn't and this made me mad. Then, to top a bad day off with crap, he told me that I was the reason why he was sad and having a bad day! I wanted to just go off! Inside i was but i couldn't allow my self to on the outside. He said that i wasn't giving him a say in the leave dates that HE asked me to figure out with him. When he got frustrated with it i asked him if he just wanted to me to do it and he could go over it later... he said yes. I only did what he wanted me to do but i'm the bad guy for some reason. I couldn't understand where he was getting this from. I hadn't done anything wrong but i was being treated like i did.
I called my Mom this morning to ask her to pray and she had some insight for me. I thank God for my Mom. Now i have a better understanding of where my husband is coming from and how to address it. I'm not angry any more. Just a lil hurt but i'll get over it. The important thing is that Ry knows how much i love him and how much i value his opinion. So, i have a lot to do today. On top of taking care of the kids i have a butt load of house work, which is too much for me to get done in one day with out help, and i need to find a way to show my love to Ry in a way that he needs it. I can't make today about me, it's about my hubby. Time to start my mission for the day.
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