Moving!!??

Happy, excitement, panic, nervous, scared, relieved... These are all the feelings that came flooding in when i realized that Ry wasn't joking about us moving to England. I was SO happy and relieved that we would be close to Ry's mom and not in some crazy foreign country all by ourselves. The panic, nervousness and scared came from not knowing what to do and feeling very unprepared.

I can't wait to go and spend time with my mother in law. I want so much for her to see the kids and get to know them. As well as the kids get to know the other side of the family. Plus, all my own family history that I'm eager to learn and see. We (the hubby and I) are so ready to travel through Europe other countries that are at hand. How awesome will it be to visit France and Ireland!

With all this good it hurts me to be so sad about going. I'm going to miss my Family WAY TO MUCH!! I'm super close to my mom and talk to her everyday. Am i going to lose this when we move? Will Ben and Lani even remember me? How will they know how much their Auntie loves them if i can't hug them and tell them so? Ugh! i feel my heart breaking! I can't think about this with out starting to cry.

Another thing, i don't know how our money will work, how to get around, the language differences, driving on the left side. What about sending packages home for holidays? What should we get rid of before we go? The questions are every where and all over the board. Yet, at times i can't remember a thing! Part of me says I'm being to worry some, but another part is freaking out saying "What if there is some thing i haven't thought of?" and "Can i really do this?"

I'm trying my best not to freak out and let my family and friends know how scared i really am. They keep saying it will be all right and I'm stronger then i know but they don't even know half of how freaked out i truly am. My heart starts beating really fast and i feel nauseated and sick to my stomach when we start talking about it. Even now, I'm dizzy.

God, Help me to FULLY trust in you!