PMS/Self Control

Most women go crazy and lose emotional control once a month. There are a few out there, like my self, who pride themselves in being emotionally in control. I never would let the symptoms of PMS take over my life or change my behavior.

However, recently I have found that PMS has taken an all new, and ever so strong, hold on my emotions and brain that I have lost almost all of my once prided self control. I can't imagine how women can go thru this every month for the majority of their life. I'm so exhausted from just a few overwhelming PMS episodes. The thing that bothers me the most is that I know what I'm doing but I lack the will, or even the want, to control my actions. Not only my action are continuing unchecked. My feelings are left to run away and cause my emotions to rollercoaster out of control.

I can't understand if I've lost my will or if I'm simply a little hormonally imbalanced. What ever it is should get in check soon or my poor family is going to think I'm crazy. I know I'm not the only one who has distributive PMS. My goal is to get my feelings and actions back in check. First step is to prepare myself every day with a determination to triumph in emotional self control.

Men and Women

I know God has created men and women different... but oh my gosh!!! Every time i think the hubby and i have agreed on some thing i find out that he had some thing totally different in mind.

For instance, when we were choosing a crib for my first born i thought we had decided on a convert-a-bed. Now two years later we have to buy a new bed cause the convert-a-bed is just falling apart. My daughters mattress in on the floor because the bolts on the bed are stripped and we couldn't get the mattress holder back on, even with special screws that are suppose to unscrew stripped bolts. I asked the hubby one night if we were going to buy a new bed for Alana as well, as a crib for the baby. He chuckled at me and made a smart comment about how "I" insisted on having the convert-a-bed. It really hurt my feelings. I thought we both agreed on that bed.

I'm not picking the baby bed this time around. I can't understand why when i don't ask his opinion i'm accused of being insensitive and not valuing his opinion but when i ask what he wants i'm accused of pushing my opinion on him and pressuring him to make a choice. I can't understand how, after three years of marriage, he can still say that he doesn't think i value his opinion. He still thinks i push my opinion on him and all i do is ask what he thinks and why. He has NO idea how much this hurts!

How will i, or will i ever get across to him that i truly do want to know what he thinks and i don't want choices in our life to be made based solely on what i want? I hate it when i find out that he just gave in to what i wanted cause he didn't think his opinion mattered. When i ask why he wants that he instantly assumes that i'm challenging his idea when i only want to understand his idea. So, he gives in to what i want and then resents me for not getting his way.

I must admit this issue gives me many nights of stress and crying. If i'm really the problem then i pray God changes me, if it's just him being insecure then i pray God changes that. But this issue has already cause pain and hurt on my end and i have to pray God heals and restores this part of my marriage.