Getting Tired of The Same Old Thing.

Lately I seem to be stuck in a rut. I want to have a nice house. Clean and tidy. However, I can't seem to get a grip on thinks. No matter how much I clean, organize, or consolidate the house explodes into a mess with in a day. 


Is it me not being consistent or is it that I'm the only one not contributing to the mess? At this point it doesn't really matter. I am just Sick of it. I am tired of cleaning and working my butt off with no hope of my efforts sticking around for any length of time. I am just plain sick of cleaning. 


I've even begun to neglect making dinner. One, because I know that the whole of the mess from dinner will stay there until I go to clean it. Two, because I feel as if no one wants to eat what I make. Every one has become picky and I guess it's my fault that I've begun to cater to their every need. This however, leaves me feeling useless and hurt, not to mention that dinner is based on what every one else wants and my wants get pushed aside. 


Now this is the way I feel. Maybe it's all in my head and maybe it's real. I can't be the only stay at home mom that feels this. I see some women who's houses are or at least seem to be clean all the time. How do they do it? I'm exhausted of running my never ending errands. 


I'm taking a lazy spell... and have no idea how long it will last. Just sticking to the minimal amount that will keep this house functional. 

Faith in Reality.

Is it loss of faith to want to face reality?

I was asked this question today and it really has me thinking. My simple response was "No, it is not loss of faith to want to face reality". Many reasons for my answer went thru my head and I gave the ones that applied to the situation. My first thought, God is Reality. Christ came to earth... ever heard the saying "come back to earth" or "stop living in the clouds" or "snap into reality"? Christ came to our reality to help us in our real situations. How is facing the reality losing faith? Trusting in God when all hope is lost, but what are you trusting him for? Some say that we should never give up and that giving up is also giving up on your faith and hope. Taking action or moving to change things, even when those around say its taboo, is not losing faith. Stepping out, trusting God will take care of you despite what others think or say is a tremendous act of faith.

Going against all odds, throwing your self into the unknown, scared, terrified really, but trusting that God will hold out his hand and cover your heart, That is real faith. Bad things will happen, doubt will come, others will look down in judgement, but God knows your heart. Leaning on him will get you thru. Yes you will get bumps. Maybe even bruises, but you'll be surprised with how strong you really are. Like the song says, "My strength is in you, Lord and My hope is in you, Lord and My faith is in you, Lord". In him we find strength to carry on, Hope to carry on and Faith to carry on. Know that there is more than this moment that you are living for. There is more than this life that we are living for. An eternity with our Father is our goal, our true life's work, and to bring as many with us as possible. Living our life as an example for him, even when our life is a mess. Especially when other's see all the bad and none of the good.

There is one simple thing that everyone should know whenever things are good or bad, God Is Love. He gives it to us freely, all we need to is trust and acknowledge him as our Lord and Savior. God loves all, but we have to except it. He already loves us, cares, and is ready to take on the challenges we face holding our hand and guiding us thru. Are we willing to let go and let God.

Men and Women

I know God has created men and women different... but oh my gosh!!! Every time i think the hubby and i have agreed on some thing i find out that he had some thing totally different in mind.

For instance, when we were choosing a crib for my first born i thought we had decided on a convert-a-bed. Now two years later we have to buy a new bed cause the convert-a-bed is just falling apart. My daughters mattress in on the floor because the bolts on the bed are stripped and we couldn't get the mattress holder back on, even with special screws that are suppose to unscrew stripped bolts. I asked the hubby one night if we were going to buy a new bed for Alana as well, as a crib for the baby. He chuckled at me and made a smart comment about how "I" insisted on having the convert-a-bed. It really hurt my feelings. I thought we both agreed on that bed.

I'm not picking the baby bed this time around. I can't understand why when i don't ask his opinion i'm accused of being insensitive and not valuing his opinion but when i ask what he wants i'm accused of pushing my opinion on him and pressuring him to make a choice. I can't understand how, after three years of marriage, he can still say that he doesn't think i value his opinion. He still thinks i push my opinion on him and all i do is ask what he thinks and why. He has NO idea how much this hurts!

How will i, or will i ever get across to him that i truly do want to know what he thinks and i don't want choices in our life to be made based solely on what i want? I hate it when i find out that he just gave in to what i wanted cause he didn't think his opinion mattered. When i ask why he wants that he instantly assumes that i'm challenging his idea when i only want to understand his idea. So, he gives in to what i want and then resents me for not getting his way.

I must admit this issue gives me many nights of stress and crying. If i'm really the problem then i pray God changes me, if it's just him being insecure then i pray God changes that. But this issue has already cause pain and hurt on my end and i have to pray God heals and restores this part of my marriage.