Failing Sucks!

I'm a trier. I try lots of things. Sewing for example, I love doing it, I'm not good at it. Cooking, love it, not good at it. Writing, I've got this blog, which I'm not planning on it being great, but I had a few other 'platforms' that i really wanted to make even a small impact with. All it ended up doing was making me feel dumb and talentless. I felt how much the world didn't want to hear what I had to say, even if I was trying to make change for the better.

I am so willing to try but I get discouraged easily and give up. I've noticed this more and more lately. Many women I know, especially the stay at home moms, are so craft and artsy and I try to do some of those things and realize I'm no good or no one likes what i do and it crushes me to the point of depression. I'm not saying this to make anyone feel bad for me. I don't even feel bad for me. It's more like I'm made at me for being so stupid and giving up so often. As a women in my mid twenties most people would think that I've found my self and understand me and my own personality. This, however couldn't be farther from the truth. It's almost the opposite. The older I get the less I know about me and who I am. I've been struggling to find my self worth.

The more I dig into God's word the more I feel my stresses about my self fade. I'm quickly realizing how much I need God right now and how much his love and guidance has kept me from depression. I haven't struggled this much with depression sense I was a freshman in high school. Then it wasn't so bad, I had wonderful friends that would keep me in check and help me out of my personal pit of despair. Now, I feel so alone. Away from friends and family that are stronger then me. I'm having to stand on my own, leaning on God and my husband for support. (with our trying to stress the hubby out too)

The good news is my spout of laziness is over and I'm aware of my pathetic state now, I can effectively and swiftly dive into God and fix this. I'm sick of letting my downfalls bring me down.
Here's to letting God determine my worth!