Home-Made Balti with a little help...

I have been digging deeper into the world of food sense becoming a Pescetarian. (no, it's not for humanitarian reason's, totally personal and working on going full vegan) I want to start blogging my food to help me remember and give people a place to go and see what I have been working on.

Today, I made Indian for Dinner. Balti! I feel in love with Indian food when i moved to England and decided it would be good to try making at home. So, here is what i used.


A whole medium zucchini.
Two handfuls of fine beans.
A third of yellow and red bell peppers.
A whole medium parsnip.
One can of Black Beans.
One can of Patak's Balit sauce. (one of the Helpers)
Store bought/Pre-made Nan. (the other Helper)
Extra virgin olive oil.
Sesame oil.


I cut up all the veggies into relatively small chunks and put them in a big hot pan with EVOO and sesame oil. Tossed it around a bit and added the beans. Then it sat a few minuets in between tosses. Once all the veggies were tender and beginning to brown I added the Balti sauce. Don't forget to cook your Nan according to the direction on the package.


This meal should feed four adults. I didn't time myself to see how long it took but give yourself about 45 minuets to get it done. I bought organic when I could but that isn't necessary. This is simple and can be changed up as needed. Experiment and find out what works for you. That's what i did. Good luck!

Vegetarian? Oh Look! Bacon!!!

"That's no Fun" or "That sucks".
     The common response i've got when telling my friends and family that i have decided to become a vegetarian. This has been a long and hard decision to make. Even with the mixed "Good for you"'s and "better you than me"'s I've made a firm choice and plan to stick to it.
     This has nothing to do with saving the cows or the inhuman treatment of pigs. This is me trying to be heathy. I've allergic to more things than i care to remember. All the chemical's in meat, the so called 'fillers' don't like me much or i should say, my body doesn't like them. Being sick all the time or not feeling well because of the meat i ate was starting to get old and the enjoyment of eating meat was beginning to be out weighed by the day or two of feeling icky that would follow.
     I haven't gone full vegetarian yet. I am still working on cutting dairy and eggs out of my diet. Once i find a suitable replacement for protein, something else to put in my coffee and a cheese replacement, then i will be good to go.
     I never realized that eating a bunch of raw veggies could keep me as full as it does. I find my self eating much less and i stay fuller longer. The same is not true when i saute' or roast the veggies. Mushrooms, wheat germ, bell peppers and parshnip make a great breakfast saute'. I currently scramble eggs into that a few times a week but i am cutting that down.
     I'm trying out lots of great veggie saute's for lunch and dinner that even my hubby likes! (that's saying a lot coming from a man that didn't eat veggies when we first got married) So, I'll find some super yummy Veggie Saute' and let y'all know about it and how to do it.
   

A little cookie twist

First post in my quest to have a more positive blog. I hope you enjoy!

Some thing most of my friends know about me is that I Never follow a recipe. I'm always adding or adjusting. I love to experiment with food.

Recently I made an all-time classic Quaker Oats Vanishing Oatmeal Raisin Cookies. Of course I tweaked it a bit.

I followed the recipe on the bottom of the lid, but changed a few things. For starters I didn't add the Raisins... this changes the cookie altogether. I added an extra 1/2 tsp of Cinnamon. Then I chopped up an apple into little cubes 

(not looking for perfection here)

(notice my totally awesome Wolfgang Puck Knife)

;)

Fold in the apple bits and bake as normal.

It's also fun to sprinkle the top of the cookies with a little cinnamon sugar mixture right before popping those bad boys in the oven.

The finished product!

A sweet and tasty alternative to an ordinary classic and it only takes a little extra effort!

Failing Sucks!

I'm a trier. I try lots of things. Sewing for example, I love doing it, I'm not good at it. Cooking, love it, not good at it. Writing, I've got this blog, which I'm not planning on it being great, but I had a few other 'platforms' that i really wanted to make even a small impact with. All it ended up doing was making me feel dumb and talentless. I felt how much the world didn't want to hear what I had to say, even if I was trying to make change for the better.

I am so willing to try but I get discouraged easily and give up. I've noticed this more and more lately. Many women I know, especially the stay at home moms, are so craft and artsy and I try to do some of those things and realize I'm no good or no one likes what i do and it crushes me to the point of depression. I'm not saying this to make anyone feel bad for me. I don't even feel bad for me. It's more like I'm made at me for being so stupid and giving up so often. As a women in my mid twenties most people would think that I've found my self and understand me and my own personality. This, however couldn't be farther from the truth. It's almost the opposite. The older I get the less I know about me and who I am. I've been struggling to find my self worth.

The more I dig into God's word the more I feel my stresses about my self fade. I'm quickly realizing how much I need God right now and how much his love and guidance has kept me from depression. I haven't struggled this much with depression sense I was a freshman in high school. Then it wasn't so bad, I had wonderful friends that would keep me in check and help me out of my personal pit of despair. Now, I feel so alone. Away from friends and family that are stronger then me. I'm having to stand on my own, leaning on God and my husband for support. (with our trying to stress the hubby out too)

The good news is my spout of laziness is over and I'm aware of my pathetic state now, I can effectively and swiftly dive into God and fix this. I'm sick of letting my downfalls bring me down.
Here's to letting God determine my worth!

PMS/Self Control

Most women go crazy and lose emotional control once a month. There are a few out there, like my self, who pride themselves in being emotionally in control. I never would let the symptoms of PMS take over my life or change my behavior.

However, recently I have found that PMS has taken an all new, and ever so strong, hold on my emotions and brain that I have lost almost all of my once prided self control. I can't imagine how women can go thru this every month for the majority of their life. I'm so exhausted from just a few overwhelming PMS episodes. The thing that bothers me the most is that I know what I'm doing but I lack the will, or even the want, to control my actions. Not only my action are continuing unchecked. My feelings are left to run away and cause my emotions to rollercoaster out of control.

I can't understand if I've lost my will or if I'm simply a little hormonally imbalanced. What ever it is should get in check soon or my poor family is going to think I'm crazy. I know I'm not the only one who has distributive PMS. My goal is to get my feelings and actions back in check. First step is to prepare myself every day with a determination to triumph in emotional self control.

Getting Tired of The Same Old Thing.

Lately I seem to be stuck in a rut. I want to have a nice house. Clean and tidy. However, I can't seem to get a grip on thinks. No matter how much I clean, organize, or consolidate the house explodes into a mess with in a day. 


Is it me not being consistent or is it that I'm the only one not contributing to the mess? At this point it doesn't really matter. I am just Sick of it. I am tired of cleaning and working my butt off with no hope of my efforts sticking around for any length of time. I am just plain sick of cleaning. 


I've even begun to neglect making dinner. One, because I know that the whole of the mess from dinner will stay there until I go to clean it. Two, because I feel as if no one wants to eat what I make. Every one has become picky and I guess it's my fault that I've begun to cater to their every need. This however, leaves me feeling useless and hurt, not to mention that dinner is based on what every one else wants and my wants get pushed aside. 


Now this is the way I feel. Maybe it's all in my head and maybe it's real. I can't be the only stay at home mom that feels this. I see some women who's houses are or at least seem to be clean all the time. How do they do it? I'm exhausted of running my never ending errands. 


I'm taking a lazy spell... and have no idea how long it will last. Just sticking to the minimal amount that will keep this house functional. 

Note to Self on Love

Marriage is not about finding who you are most compatible with, it's about who your willing to become compatible with. 

The babysitting TV

I remember, when i had my first child, so many women raved about not letting the TV become a babysitter for my daughter. They all said how my poor kids would become "brain dead" and lose their social skills. 


For some reason opinions, of moms that is, has seemed to change recently. All the doctors and child developmental specialist on TV and through books keep saying that too much TV is bad and limit kids to what seems like and almost unrealistic amount of TV a week. I've seemed to notice, however, that many moms find their kids favorite television shows as some what of a life saver. 


While some moms are being good and making their kids do puzzles, read books, or play outside other moms are giving in to the pressure and turning on Micky Mouse Club House. If your like me, it's become one of the only times during the day that you can think and it' become addictive. So, while the kids aren't being annoying or bad and while I'm not needing a break or a moment to think, I've become addicted to the peace, solitude and moment to breath that playing their favorite programs has afforded me. I know that it may seem "horrid" to some of the women out there that made it through motherhood with out 'on demand'. 

I have tried to find a balance between my addiction, their want and what is good for us all. Let me just be honest. There are times when I know I should pick up a book and read to my kids, there are times when I know I should put down my iPhone and play with my kids and there are times when I know I should turn off the TV and get creative with my kids but I lack the energy and motivation to do so. It doesn't last long though. After a few days of Barney and Cars2, a feeling of guilt overwhelms me. I engage with my children and play with them to the point where they begin to get sick of me. They begin to go off and play together with out Mommy. Then I enjoy the solitude and my addiction starts all over again. 


So, I've made it my goal to be balanced. I know that not every day will turn out as I hope but that will not keep me from trying to improve. Every mom can learn from another mom, or even mom-to-be. I take what I see from friends and family and use it to help improve the lives of my children, in turn, improving my life as well. I don't know it all and I am will to learn. I'll take advice and criticize it in a heart beat, not because I think it's bad but because i want the theory and knowledge behind it to be fully understood. 


Here starts the end of giving in, and here starts the beginning of being strong and knowing that I Can handle what is at my feet.